Relationships – Part II

© Copyright 2006, 2011 by Joel R. Hall – All Rights Reserved

This is a follow on to Relationships – Part I.

This is another entry inspired by an email conversation with someone. (Wouldn’t you LOVE to know who? Bwahaha. I’ll never tell.)

One of the most common maladies experienced by people that are trying to start up a relationship with someone they are interested in, is a tendency to either clam up or to suffer a chatter splatter. This rather embarrassing behavior usually results in the person of interest expressing a sudden need to leave for some unforeseen, totally lame emergency (That was my mom on the phone. I gotta rush home. My goldfish is sick) while reassuring you that they “had a wonderful time…we’ll have to do it again some time real soon…I’ll call.”

This is followed immediately by the self doubts and questions: “Why, oh why, do I DO that?”; “What is WRONG with me?”; “I’m SO stupid!!!”; etc ad nauseum. So, let’s examine this behavior. What IS wrong with you? Nothing. Are you stupid? No…at least this is not a symptom of stupidity. Then WHY DO YOU DO THAT? That’s THE big question, and I’ll try to supply some insight into a possible answer, but first, let me set the record straight about my goal in addressing this behavior: even if I could, I WOULDN’T TRY TO FIX THIS BEHAVIOR IN YOU. Why, you may ask? Simple: you’re not broken. This is simply a part of you: a necessary part for your journey in life.

Now that I’ve established that, I will say this much to help you understand WHY YOU DO THAT. You do it because you feel things VERY strongly and you are afraid of getting hurt. The more you care about someone, the harder it is to relax and just be yourself when you are around them until you are confident that they feel the same way about you. You don’t have to worry, though. That’s actually a good thing. It’s like a built in litmus test for finding the right partner. You’ll know you MAY have found the right person when that special someone smiles at you after you have just put on your best worst show and tells you how glad they are that God created you “just that way”. When that happens, you know you’ve met someone that is able to look deep, past the surface jumble of nerves, to the inner you. Don’t get me wrong. This is not a SURE FIRE signal that you are DESTINED to marry this person. It simply means that you should at least give this person strong consideration as a candidate.

As for now, I know none of you want to hear it, but the truth is that there really is no rush. Enjoy this present leg of life’s journey. Just because you are headed to the mountains doesn’t mean that you should ignore the beauty of the dessert as you pass through. Each step of the journey has it’s own unique and special value. Be careful not to miss a single thing by straining too much toward the horizon.

To be honest with you, I think one of the greatest treasures in the current leg of life’s journey for most of you is the priceless gift of wonderful friends. I see the strong bonds so many of you share and it makes me smile – no, smile is not big enough – it makes me laugh with utter joy. Friendships like that don’t come along very often. Savor each second that you spend with your good friends this year, because, like all living things, friendships grow and evolve and if not properly tended to, can even die. I pray that will never happen for any of you. I do believe the world would grow a shade darker if it did. But nothing stays the same. You graduate. You move on. You can remain friends, but odds are you will always look back on this year, this season of your life, as one of the best times of your life. So, stop worrying about what you don’t have (boy/girl friend) and start enjoying the wonderful thing you do have: true friends.


P.s. If you are currently in a dating relationship, the gist of this blog still applies to you: don’t be in a hurry. In fact, this probably is even more relevant to you than to your “single” friends.

© Copyright 2006, 2011 by Joel R. Hall – All Rights Reserved


About Joel Hall

Onward through the fog!
This entry was posted in Relationships, Spiritual Living and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Relationships – Part II

  1. Pingback: Relationships – Part I | Simply Put

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